


(Not) For the Best

by love_and_angst (QuinnLockwood)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 13:32:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11314419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuinnLockwood/pseuds/love_and_angst
Summary: Dean left the Reader to protect her. “It’s for the best,” he said, but made it so much worse…





	(Not) For the Best

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, Supernatural typical violence, abusive language

“Where are your knights in shining amour now, hm?” the demon mocked you. He was holding you captive for the last 3 or four says. He was having fun remind you that there was no sign of the Winchesters coming to your aid. In his sick little world, it meant he could have more “fun” with you. 

“I can’t wait for them to find you,” he chuckled. He hold his dagger to your face, letting it graze the soft flesh of your skin until little lines of blood making their path down your face. His watched it all with a sickening fascination.

You couldn’t even hiss out in pain, as much as it hurt you, but you were simply too tired. The last couple of days did its toll on you. Even before the demon kidnapped you, you were only a shell of yourself, tired and left from all motivation. 

“Can you imaging how angry they will be?” the demon kept on babbling. “They will be so blinded by hate… exactly what I need. Unlike the idiots who have dealt with them before, I’ve noticed that this is when they can’t think straight…when they make mistakes.” 

A couple of days ago, you would have fought, you would have told him that he was wrong, that the Winchesters are going to rip his head off his shoulders, but now… While it still bothered you, that someone spoke of them like that, you knew they were save, since they wouldn’t come for you. 

Right now, you were just hoping that the demon would realize this soon, as well, and would finally put you out of your misery. 

“But I have to admit,” the demon said, circling you and leaving more trails of blood in the wake of his blade, “I’d thought they’d come faster to rescue his precious little whore.” 

“They won’t come,” you tried one last time. 

“Bullshit!” he screamed and cut your arm, his time fairly deep. “As if the Winchesters would let their friend die, especially someone who is so much more than a friend to Dean, hm? So don’t even try to lie to me.”

Dean. Hearing his name made your heart ache and tears pooling in your eyes. He won’t come. Not this time. 

You closed your eyes and gave up as the darkness embraced you.

* * *

It all started about two weeks ago. Dean was becoming distant. First you thought it was because of the hunt which shaken all three of you up. You gave him the room he needed, and hoped he’d be back to his affectionate self in no time.

Four more days passed, until you started to worry about your boyfriend. 

He barely talked you and if he did, he seemed to be annoyed. Every evening he went out to the bar, instead of spending the evening with you. When he came home in the middle of the night, he would fall asleep on his side of the bed, with a gape gape large enough between you, Sam could fit in there. 

But you gave him another three days. You knew sooner or later would come to you… or so you thought. 

After these three days passed and nothing had changed however, you couldn’t take it anymore. You wanted to know what was bothering him, and letting him know, whatever it was, you would be there for him. 

You knocked on the door that hold yours and his shared bedroom, but now became a hiding place for Dean during the day. “Dean, can I come in?”

There was grunt from the other side. You took it as a ‘yes’ and opened the door. 

Dean was lying sprawled on the bed. His eyes were cast on the ceiling and didn’t met your as you entered the room and closed the door behind you. 

You walked over to the bed and sat next to him. “What’s going on with you, Dean?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Steffi.” You didn’t know what was worst, him so obviously lying to you, or the lack of one of the nicknames he usually used for you. 

“Bullshit! Something is bothering you. Please let me help you,” you said and took his hand into his. 

Dean pulled his roughly hand away from yours. The action made you feel like you’ve been slapped in the face, only that the pain was redirected to your heart. “Dean?” 

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said and sat up next to you. 

“What do you mean?” you asked and hated it how desperate you sounded, but the last couple of days, and now this, left you more than confused. 

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Steffi, but I… I don’t love you anymore.” 

The silence that followed was deafening. You couldn’t say anything. You weren’t even sure you understood correctly. This had to be a joke. Dean Winchester, the man you loved with everything in your heart, the man who said he loved you like he never loved before and would never leave you… 

Your whole body was shaking. Tears were burning in your eyes and you thought against a sob in your throat. “You’re-you’re breaking up with me?” 

“I’m sorry, Steffi. I just… I’m not even sure I ever loved you, you know,” he said and shrugged. 

You got up from the bed, bringing some distance between you and him. You couldn’t be so close to him, not now, not when he acted like ripping your heart out of you chest wasn’t a big deal. 

You noticed how he wouldn’t look at you, and you didn’t know if it was better or worse. If you’d see his beautiful eyes now, without any love they usually held, you would probably lose it completely. 

“How- why- when?” you stumbled over your words. You couldn’t think clear. 

“Everything alright?” You humped when you heard Sam behind you. 

“Jup,” Dean said, not meeting his eyes either. 

You turned around and ran to your old room, the one you preoccupied before you moved into Dean’s bedroom. You heard Sam shouting your name, but you didn’t stop, didn’t look back. 

Two days later you packed you left the bunker. You hoped that maybe Dean would change his mind, but all he did was avoiding you even more. The message was clear. 

Sam was begging you stay. He thought that once his brother realized what he’d done, he’d be back to normal. “He loves you more than anything!” he claimed. 

You only shook your head, and bid him farewell. There were moment before in your relationship, when Dean doubted he was a good boyfriend, when he thought you deserved better or when, at the very beginning, if he was even one to settle down. But through all these and even more rough patches, he never made you doubt for even a single second that he loved you. 

You spend the next week in a shabby, crying your eyes out and numbing the pain with alcohol. That was, until that little fucker of a demon came along. He broke into the room and kidnapped you and here you were. Alone, abandoned and heartbroken, knowing that this time, Dean wouldn’t come to your rescue.

* * *

“Steffi!” 

“Steffi!” 

You woke up and groaned. Great. Now you were even hearing their voices in your sleep. Wishful thinking? Hallucination? You couldn’t really tell. 

“Fuck, Sam, there’s a trapdoor. Hold the torch, I go down there.” 

You hold your breath, not daring to hope… 

The trapdoor was opened and soon a hupe figure was standing in the dark room. while another person climbed down as well. 

“Dean? Sam?” you rasped out. 

“Sweetheart?” Dean asked and rushed over to were he thought he heard your voice. 

“Dammit, Dean, I can’t see anything,” Sam complained as Dean left his side with the only torch they had.

It didn’t take long for Dean to find you. He laid the torch next to your chair and worked on the roped. “I’m so sweetheart, it’s all my fault.” 

You wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that you’re the only one to blame for being to careless, but the darkness was calling you once again.  
“Steffi?” Dean’s voice was the first thing you heard when you woke up again. 

You opened your eyes and closed them again, when the brightness of the room blinded you. “Ugh.” 

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Dean said and you felt his hard wrapped around yours. “You’re in a hospital.”

You opened your eyes again, more careful this time, and looked at Dean. You still couldn’t believe that he really came for you. 

His eyes were rimmed red, his hair unkempt and a five o’click shadow graced his face. He looked exhaust. If last week wouldn’t have happened, you might said he looked even worried. 

“It’s good to see you’re awake, Steffi,” Sam said and hugged you. “I’m going to..um.. get a coffee.”

You wanted to ask him to say, to not leave you alone with Dean after last time, but the younger Winchester was out of the door before you even opened your mouth. 

“Steffi,” Dean tried to bring your attention back to him, but you wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

You knew what was coming now, the thought alone brung tears to your eyes. He would leave you again. He saved you, he did his job, time to move on. 

“It’s okay, Dean,” you said, hoping he wouldn’t hear how much his mere present hurt you. “Thanks for saving me. You can go now.” 

“I don’t want to,” he relied with his usual suborn undertone.”I never want to leave your side again, in fact.” 

Your head snapped up at that. “What?” 

“I’m so sorry, Steffi. I thought that leaving you would be for the best. You deserve so much more, someone better than me. The last couple of say thought me that. I missed you. I thought I loved you before, but when you were gone... I need you, Steffi,” he explained, with tears in his eyes. 

“Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me,” you asked, your voice thick with tears.

“I know-”

“What happens next time, when you think you know what’s best for me?” You had to know. As much as you loved Dean, you couldn’t go through this again.

The tears were now freely rolling down Dean’s cheek. “It will never happen again, I promise you! It was the worst mistake I’ve ever done in my life!” 

A sob escaped your mouth. You didn’t know what to think or what to do. It was everything you wanted to hear for the last couple of days, yet you were afraid, once the time comes, he will break the promise again. 

Dean wrapped his arms around your shaking frame and let you sob i his shirt. “I’m so sorry, princess. Please give me another chance. I love you so much. I can’t live without you.” 

“I love you, too, Dean, but I-” but you gave up talking when another sob wrecked through your body. You just wanted to be hold, letting his gentle touches sooth away your pain and not thinking about the consequences for now. 

“Let me prove it to you,” he whispered in your hair. “Come back home.” 

A few minutes later you were fast asleep. Dean was sorrowfully looking at your sleeping form as Sam entered the room again. 

“Have you ask her?” Sam asked his brother. 

Dean shook his head. “Not now. I fucked up, Sam. I fucked up so badly.”

“It’ll take some time, but she’ll come around,” Sam said. “She has to. I told Charlie and she’s practically already panning the wedding.”

Dean groaned. “Just tell I haven’t ask Steffi yet.” 

“But you will. Soon.”

“Sam...” 

“Ok, ok!”


End file.
